Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Happy Happy Happy Happy

That is what I keep telling myself. I have no reason to be unhappy. None. I got my sweating under control, I am losing weight, I only have short periods of pain so my stomach issues are getting better and I see a doc for it next week. I am finally taking my final I missed last semester, and current classes are going well.

So why am I sliding down that steep slope to sadness? I am sullen, moody, and irritable. I don't have motivation to get through the day and I just want to sleep. I know all of this is a precursor for depression stage. I don't usually get full blown mania, just some hypo mania and mixed cycles.

I just wish I could stop it. I can feel it coming. Feeling it coming and that dread makes me worry and think about all the things I should be happy about, but because my brain doesn't work like a normal persons I get side tracked and think about all the things that make me unhappy. Ugh.

If I know its coming, there should be steps to stop it right? Wrong. Well, at least I am not aware of a way to stop depression dead in its tracks. I take anti depressants, and that helps we slowly descend into depression instead of rapidly falling. It also helps me get out of bed. Before I would sleep for DAYS.

I see my psychiatrist next month, I hope I can get some CBT and/or something else to help me out.

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