Thursday, February 24, 2011

Long Time No See

So it has been a while since I last blogged. I have been kind of busy with work and what not. All excuses for being lazy. So here is the update all my non-followers are waiting for!

JM is quitting his job. He is going to go to school full time, work part time and take care of our daughter. I have to admit I am jealous. I want to be the one that stays home with our kid. I want to get my education moving since it has grown stagnic(sp). I haven't set foot into a class since Dec 2008. I start again this fall, but one, MAYBE two classes at the most. I am going to be in school forever. I am going nowhere fast.

Daughter is getting big. She is almost 19 months old. She talks so much more now, not anywhere near as much as I would like her to be, but I will take what I can get! She says her name now, puppy, kitty, ball, mommy, daddy, go, go away, i am, here go, thank you... so I think that is a good start.

I just found out on Wed that our day care provider is going to change careers and join her husband in the real estate industry. In the office I work in. Let me explain a little further. I work with B, his wife, T watches my daughter 4 days a week. So B and I get along pretty well. I pick on him. T is kind of stand offish. She is great with daughter, but I don't know if we just have opposite personalities or what... but we generally get along. So T has given us two weeks notice. Which blows in any normal circumstance, but since JM works nights and goes to school full time we might have a problem. We need full time care through the month of March, and then part time after April 1st. So there are very few places that will take my daughter because they either don't do part time, or they do but I still have to pay for full time. Like I can afford that with my hubby quitting his job.

This is on top of "rumours" that T was going to join the company that I asked her about at least twice. I always go the "well we don't know what we are doing yet" response. BULL SHIT. I am angry. Ugh.

I have found three places I am going to visit. Oh- speak of the devil, one of them called! I totally forgot I was going to go visit one of them, like, NOW! Ops. I guess I will be updating next week on who/where we are going to take her. IF I find someone. I wont let T and B know anything, I hope they feel guilty.

On to my crazy self.
I just came to a screeching halt. I was ok this morning, but I just got really sad, angry, depressed rapidly. I don't like that. I wish there was a true "happy pill" I could take. I think it is just the situation that is bogging me down. I usually vent on BBC, but a girl on my private birth board just checked herself in, and I don't want it to seem like I am trying to gain attention by acting crazy. But right now, I just want to crawl under the desk and cry. Again, lonely. JM is sleeping at home, so I cant call him. Plus I am sure I will start crying if I actually verbalize my feelings. Writing it out is hard enough.

Well, I need to do something. anything. Too bad it is cold here or I would go for a walk!


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