Monday, August 1, 2011

Bad Mommy

I feel like such a shitty parent. I know that is a pretty common feeling among first time parents. It just won't go away though.

She spends all day in day care. Usually 5 days a week. When I get home and pick her up I see her all of an hour, maybe an hour and a half, before we start getting ready for bed time. If we don't have a good night I feel like shit. (She has hit the terrible two's so bad nights out weigh good nights.) If we have a good night, I feel like I am spoiling her and letting her get away with too much. Like I will let her make a serious mess in the kitchen with uncooked rice because she wanted to play with it and I didn't want to say no and fight about it.

I feel like there is no middle ground.

On the weekends when JM is home, we do a lot of things together. This last weekend I took to her to hang out with a friend and her kid in the next big city (an hour away) and we had a good time. JM went shooting so I was with our daughter until he got home around 3pm. Sunday, we had breakfast and went shopping. He did some gardening before nap time, during nap time he picked up a swing set I bought off craigslist with his friend and came home and put it together. After nap time we went to Sam's club and ate at Fizzoli's.  The whole time my daughter is clinging to me like I am going to leave her forever. She has been so clingy lately. So of course I just want 2 seconds to myself to breathe, but she doesn't want daddy. So I get her all day. I can't even pee in piece. Now I feel guilty because I want time away from her after I complain about not seeing her all week.

No happy medium.

Do other mom's have this problem? Working mom's? Why do dad's not have this problem? Or do they?

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